my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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