READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
