i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
