Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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