Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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