there was a trapeze. enough said
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
