He is such a slut. More and more my type.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
