Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
