brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
