He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
