oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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