ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
