So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
