I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
