well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
