She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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