She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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