I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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