So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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