I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
