oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
