I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
