you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
