Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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