It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
