Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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