If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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