My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
