You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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