You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can text with my tongue
im six kinds of drunk right now
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
