i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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