Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
