i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
