Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
