If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
