Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
