I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
