Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
