I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
