she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
