I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
