dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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