OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
