...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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