remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
