You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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