I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
