someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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