Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
worst night to have a conscience
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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