Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
